Alexandra Stoddard Chooses Happiness

Have you ever walked down the quaint, tree-lined streets of Stonington Borough and wondered who lives behind the historic facades and manicured gardens? Generations of writers, painters, and poets have lived in and loved this seaside village. One of our most celebrated neighbors is Alexandra Stoddard — philosopher, fulfillment seeker, teacher, prolific writer, and proud mother and grandma.

Alexandra Stoddard in her living room in Stonington Borough, Connecticut

For the past 32 years, Alexandra has lived in the happiest house on Water Street. It’s drenched in light and filled with beautiful fireplaces, vintage moldings, wide-plank floors, colorful paintings, and vase after vase of daffodils, snapdragons, tulips, hyacinths, hydrangeas, and roses, many purchased daily from the Borough’s florist, Verdant Floral Studio. It’s an explosion of color, citrus, flora and fauna, with candles and writing nooks tucked in throughout.

Initially, it wasn't a house that spoke to her. "It was painted an awful shade of taupe, and I can't cope with taupe, but it had a white lilac tree in the back that was in full bloom, and it looked like diamonds were dripping from every bower and branch," she says. Today, it's a house as welcoming and comfortable as it is inspirational. It's filled with stacks of books, trinkets, art, and the boundless energy of Alexandra herself — who at 78 is healthy, fit, and living a meaningful and productive life.

There’s a perfect vignette everywhere you look — paintings adorn the walls, a still life on the kitchen counter, a vantage point into the dining room, bells hanging on her front door, floral slipcovered furniture, the periwinkle buttery/pantry off her kitchen, daffodils and gardenias in the hallway, a stack of books written by Stoddard.

She’s working on her 29th (published) book, and preparing for her next retreat at the Inn at Stonington on March 11th and 12th with a visit and book sale at her cottage afterward. During her retreats, Alexandra connects with her readers. “We gather as strangers and leave as a community,” she says. The focus is her book Choosing Happiness, what it is to each person, and how people can spread light in a world that seems to be headed in the wrong direction in terms of values. 

But her message hasn’t always been “happiness.” For years, her books were about interior design, the good life, beauty, enjoying your home and family. After a lifetime of studying Aristotle and the devastating loss of her beloved husband Peter, Alexandra’s focus shifted. She’s more introspective. 

“Walt Disney always has a happy ending, but it’s not realistic. You have to accept reality, impermanence, and think of loss as inevitable change. Love never dies. It’s all in your attitude. People get stuck with what has happened to them in the past. Get over it. Do your best and leave the rest. The one thing you can’t change in your life is the past,” Alexandra says. 

One of many writing desks in Alexandra’s Stonington Borough home.

If there is a recipe for happiness, Alexandra has the ingredients. “First you have to like yourself. If you don’t like yourself, change yourself, make yourself better. You have to live with yourself 24 hours a day. And one of the most important components of happiness is your relationships with other people,” she says.

A few years ago, Alexandra went to MIT to hear the Dalai Lama speak. In the garden before his session, she had an opportunity to meet him, where he embraced her. It clearly made an impact. “He’s such a jolly man. He’s the happiest person I’ve ever met!”

For more information on Alexandra’s upcoming Happiness Retreat on March 11th and 12th, contact The Inn at Stonington.

For more information on Alexandra’s library of books, visit her website at AlexandraStoddard.com.

*All photos by Sandra Alexander / Dessa Lea Productions.